When I Cry

Good Morning Everyone!

This past weekend has been hard.  You see, a dear friend of mine had a son around the same age as my son.  Three years ago, "J" was diagnosed with leukemia, but had received chemo treatments and had been doing great.  Their family was just up in our town in May, as they all attended their two daughter's graduation from the college where my husband teaches.  My friend and I sat in our living room and talked about how great "J" was doing, and how he would most likely come to attend college here as well, like his sisters did.  But then several weeks ago everything changed.

A fever sent "J" to the hospital, and because he was considered high risk due to his leukemia he was admitted.  Things went from bad to worse.  Prayer warriors around the country were constantly lifting "J" up in their prayers.  We would see little miracles--at one point he was on life support, but actually rallied around and was able to start breathing on his own and was removed from all life support measures!  Slowly, ever slowly, we could see our prayed for miracle starting to happen.  He was able to drink a liquid nutrition drink on his own.  But then 24 hours later his body was fighting new, multiple infections.  It was more than he could fight, and Friday afternoon, July 4, he passed away.

I felt sick.  Literally.  I was so upset when I read the message that I couldn't even speak and tell my husband what had happened.  All I wanted to do was throw up.  Since my friend is my sister-in-Christ, in a small way I felt as if I had lost a son or a nephew as well.   This was not the end I had prayed for.

Fortunately--this is not the end.

I know that "J" is currently sleeping.  In the Bible, Jesus referred to the death of Lazarus as a sleep.
"These things He said, and after that He said to them, 'Our friend Lazarus sleeps, but I go that I may wake him up.'  Then His disciples said, 'Lord, if he sleeps he will get well.' However, Jesus spoke of his death, but they thought that He was speaking about taking rest in sleep.  Then Jesus said to them plainly, 'Lazarus is dead.'"  John 11:11-14

David also referred to death as sleep.  "Consider and hear me, O Lord my God; Enlighten my eyes, Lest I sleep the sleep of death."  Psalms 13:3

I know that "J" is no longer in pain nor does he know anything.  "For the living know that they will die; but the dead know nothing, and they have no more reward, for the memory of them is forgotten."  Ecclesiastes 9:5

I know that "J" is simply waiting--he is not currently in heaven praising God.  "For in death there is no remembrance of You.  In the grave who will give You thanks?"  Psalm 6:5

When Jesus comes the second time, the judgement will take place. "And I saw the dead, small and great, standing before God, and books were opened.  And another book was opened, which is the Book of Life.  And the dead were judged according to their works, by the things which were written in the books."  Revelation 20:12

And I know at that time there will be no more death.  "Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, 'Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people.  God Himself will be with them and be their God.  And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying.  There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."  Revelation 21:2-4

I know Jesus is coming soon.  "'And behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to every one according to his work.  I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last.'  Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter through the gates into the city."  Revelation 22:12-14

So while I may be crying now, "J's" story is not finished.  This is not the end.  It is only the close of one chapter.  Because Jesus loves him too much to not return for him.  "Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb?  Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you.  See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;  Your walls are continually before Me."  Isaiah 49:15-16

Someone on Facebook shared the following song with my friend, "J's" mom.  I thought it was beautiful--and so very true.  Hope you can find some comfort in it as well, and know that when you are hurting, God hurts too.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_2LF_TZ6Pu8

And in the meantime, I am waiting for God's end to "J's" story.  Because this isn't it.

Have a beautiful week, walking close by your Savior.

~Susan